Here are a few ways to pull this off:
- Get yourself a railway staff pass – 100% – I have never actually seen one (or its security features), but I am sure it could be easily forged. Especially in my case, since they are used to my scruffy version of everything.
- Hide in the toilets – 50% – Here I can speak from personal experience. My heart never pounded harder than the time I was almost caught by one furious conductor. It went something like this: I got on through the door where he was standing. I quickly ran off to hide, and since I knew he had it in for me, I hid in the toilet.
I deliberately did not lock the door, because he could have just waited for me anyway and caught me in Ropice, where the police might already have been waiting after boarding in, say, Trinec. I stood pressed against the wall like a stone, my shoulder blades pushed hard against the wall behind me and my bag at my feet, if I even had one with me that time.
He yanked the door open, and all I managed to do was quietly breathe out. Had he pushed it a little harder or had I taken a breath, I would have been a dead man. But I survived. I stayed there for the whole journey, and when he came back he did not open it again. The downside: You may be surprised, but on crowded trains the toilets get used quite often. - Print your own tickets – 100% – This is a brilliant idea. It is not much work, and if you print 1 quarterly ticket at full fare, you do not even need a pass for those 3 months.
The tricky part is the silver stickers they put on them, but you could deal with that by stealing one of those sheets through the ticket window when nobody is looking (the harder option), or by asking the clerk to lend it to you – to see how it reflects the light and so on – and then quickly running off.
Or you could keep claiming she forgot to stick it on, but that probably would not work. And of course copying a friend’s ticket belongs here too. - Sleep on the train every time – 5% – Some conductors might fall for it, until they see through your trick.
- Write your own tickets – 5% – At one station I found tickets that were apparently issued when the machine was broken, because everything was filled in by hand.
They are about the same size and have boxes to fill in. No signature or stamp is needed anywhere. I have not tried it yet, but I can any time. - Buy a ticket for a shorter route than you actually travel – depends on the route and on how well the conductors know it – It is as easy as pie: if they catch you near the start or the end, the train is not going to stop.
Maybe if this keeps happening things will change, but not the first time. It also depends on how long your ticket is valid for.
Even if they threaten you that next time you had better have 800 CZK ready for the fine. - Get hold of orange Czech Railways hi-vis clothing – 100% – Tested, these people ride quite often and nobody has ever asked them for a pass.
However, once a conductor notices that you ride regularly, they may want you to somehow prove that you work for Czech Railways.
Unfortunately, I have no idea what such an ID card would look like. Besides, you need to look a bit older and not like a young lad. - Become a hacker and “buy” a ticket at eshop.cd.cz. – 100% – I suspect, though, that only international tickets are sold this way, so this one may be out.
Also, they may track you down and you could end up in jail. - Steal a ticket machine – 100% – Although I see this one as a long shot, because it is surely connected to some server that monitors your IP address.
Capable IT technicians would find you even if you hid behind 10 proxy servers. You could cover your tracks by logging in from school, work or an internet cafe.
Or, if you are a programmer, you could try to crack the code and forge it. - People on the railway – 100% – If the railway employs a few Judases, you are all set. Best to ask them to print tickets for months or years ahead.
- Getting a POP ticket machine – These are the conductors’ “calculators” that also print thermally. If the conductor happens to fall asleep, you get him drunk or something else, you can get to work.
Printing your own paper roll on your own would be hard, though, so here it would pay off to visit a paper shop that specializes in this.
The advantage is that you can print tickets right on the train, even for your friends.
So, these were the options that came to mind while I was writing this post. Try one of them and share your experience in the comments!